3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
