and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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