let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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