do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
