we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
