you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
