Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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