Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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