She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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