i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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