dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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