If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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