my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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