All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
how drunk are you?
Several
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
