Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
