it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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