trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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