It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
