guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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