return my video game
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
