I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Found your dick twin last night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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