you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
