you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
