Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
