I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
