Say something about gay babies.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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