She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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