dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me