It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.