Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
3pm strippers are depressing
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.