Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
