Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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