Whod you bang
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
