she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
