Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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