I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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