I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
