BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
