your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
