I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
