She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
