Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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