I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
