Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
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Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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