who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
