I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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