You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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