i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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