ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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