Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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