My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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