How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
