I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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