Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
