well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
