there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize