he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
