every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
