I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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