She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
