sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
