I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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