I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
